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1. It's night owl bingo
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 23 July 2008JET LAG’S a weird thing don’t you think? At lunchtime I couldn't keep my eyes open, now I’m writing this week’s column wide awake at 2am. You find out all kinds of things you never knew when you could sleep.
2. Will next armed robbery be a police station?
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 23 July 2008I REALLY don’t know the quality of detective work in Cheshire Police, but their PR is in urgent need of attention.
3. Stupid questions
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 23 July 2008I’M CONSIDERING changing my mobile phone network and rang a new provider to ask how I could check coverage in our area.
4. Why Sir Nick is not a profligate freeloader
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 23 July 2008I’VE KEPT relatively quiet on the Sir Nick controversy, not least because it’s all so contradictory.
5. I'm looking forward to a great British summer
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 16 July 2008IT’S summer; Lulu’s coming to Macc; MPs are heading for home (the one they paid for not the one we paid for); Cheeky Girl twin Gabriela plans to marry the Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik so there’s still a Cheeky Girl spare for anyone who needs one. Heather Mills is living in New York and Gordon Ramsey has gone to LA so it’s not all bad news. Mrs B’s bought sunscreen for the pig but not for me; you can see where her priorities lie.
6. My old surgery is dead good
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 9 July 2008I DROVE past my old doctor’s surgery today and saw to my horror it has become a funeral parlour.
7. If the medicine didn't kill us - well then, we had to be cured
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 9 July 2008GUESS what I found in the back of an old cupboard? An ancient bottle of camomile lotion.
8. Pass your test and drive a supercar the same day
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 9 July 2008I WAS heading home down the Wilmslow bypass in the rush hour traffic when the car on my inside lane suddenly swerved right.
9. Answer is so easy
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 9 July 2008WHY are civil liberties groups working themselves into a lather about the record number of inmates in British jails? It’s no mystery: we have more criminals.
10. Why I'm all for corporal punishment
Wilmslow Express, Wednesday 2 July 2008ALTHOUGH I’ve never regarded myself as a loyalist, I have to say Her Majesty’s unblemished 55-year reign under the microscopic scrutiny of the world’s press is mighty impressive.